Episode Script
(Note: the final episode will not follow the script verbatim, but it will be pretty close. )
Introduction – At the Nevada DMV
Welcome to the Thinkering & Tinkering Podcast. I’m Fickle Father.
I grew up in the Las Vegas area, Henderson, and I lived there when I started my career after law school. One year, I had to go to the DMV to renew my drivers license.
At this time, you just had to pull a number and wait for it to be called.
It could be hours or for what feels like days…because at this time, smart phones weren’t all that pervasive. When you were waiting, you just had to wait. If you were lucky, maybe there were magazines lying around.
Or maybe that’s not lucky. One time I got stuck for a night in Chicago because I was captivated by a magazine I was reading about how scientists figured out how to regrow a part of this guy’s finger using pig proteins. And I guess while I was reading, they had lined up everyone around me, boarded the plane, and called my name. I looked up just as the plane was taxiing away.
I digress. My point is, I was at the DMV.
When I finally got called up, I had to put my face up to some sort of eye-checking contraption. You put your forehead against it and look in. I remember looking around at all the people thin the DMV and thinking, “Man, I hope they wash that forehead plate thing.”
Then I put my head against it and looked it. If I recall, you are supposed to see dots of lights. But whatever you were supposed to see in that little box, apparently I didn’t see enough of it.
I failed the test. I needed to wear glasses. And I guess that shouldn’t have been too surprising because…well… I actually had glasses. I just never really wore them because I didn’t think my eyes were all that bad.
So my Nevada drivers license had a corrective lenses notation on it.
Moving to the Idaho DMV
A few years later my family and I moved to Idaho Falls, Idaho.
When I got my license there, I also had to go the DMV. But I specifically remember that I basically walked right up. No long lines. No magazines. No missed flights.
They had an eye-checking contraption there as well. I asked the clerk:
“Do I do this with or without my glasses?”
She says, “You can try without your glasses if you want to.”
I was like, “Sure, why not?”
So I did.
And I guess in Idaho, you don’t have to see as well as you do in Nevada because I passed the eye test with flying colors – at least I think there were colors – I don’t know. I couldn’t really see.
But my point is that I didn’t need glasses to drive in Idaho!
So I wore my glasses with much less frequency and then practically never.
Walking to Work Without Glasses
And I actually didn’t drive all that much. I usually walked to work – even in the winter.
Walking in the winter was kind of weird because I learned that I have this condition called cold urticaria – my skin is allergic to being too cold. This was never a problem in Vegas. But if my skin was exposed too much and too long to the winter air of Idaho, I would break out in welty hives.
But I loved walking to work. Even if it was treacherous at times.
The Dog
One time I was walking and heard this dog barking in the distance behind me. It came from across the main street and down the block. I kept walking.
The next thing I knew, the barking sounded a lot closer. I looked back and this pitbull-looking dog was bolting across the main street right at me.
I thought, “I should maybe try to jump this wall.” I looked at the wall and then thought, “Well, I guess this is how I die.”
I turned around so I could at least maybe fight off the dog.
It came to within about 5 feet of me and then stopped. It barked at me a bit more. Then it turned around and walked off.
Maybe it saw my cold urticaria face and was like, “Ew, I’m not chomping on that weird looking skin.”
Who knows?
The Driveway
Another time we got a really heavy snow after a period of warmer days. If you’re from Idaho Falls you know about these false starts of spring.
Well apparently someone had turned on their sprinklers, the water then leaked all over the driveway, froze over at night, and then got covered in a layer of powdery snow.
I was heading to work with my new Microsoft Surface Pro laptop in my backpack. I was walking across this driveway not suspecting a thing. The next thing I know I suddenly slip on the ice. It was like someone pulled a rug out from under me.
I was taking a step and in the next instance, whoop! It seemed like time paused for a brief moment as I hung helpless and horizontal in the air. I had enough time to realize I’m about to fall flat on my back. I remember thinking, “Ah crap! There goes my computer!”
I land with a thud. I’m just lying there in the middle of this person’s driveway flat on my back thinking, “Yeah…that just happened.” I think I better get up, but then realize I cannot get any traction. I manage the roll onto my stomach, but my hands and feet are just slipping on this super slick ice.
I’m like literally trying to swim across the ice and I’m getting next to nowhere. Seriously, this is like the slickest ice that has ever existed. Like, scientists should go study that ice. There’s probably something we can learn as a species.
I eventually realize that if I really stretch, I can maybe grab hold of this tiny wispy looking weed growing at the very edge of the driveway in this person’s yard. It’s like seriously this little wisp of a weed. In fact, I had to take my gloves off so I could just pinch it with my fingers.
Well, believe it or not, but the ice was so slick, I was able to pull myself over just enough to where I felt like I could stabilize, which was fortunate because the weed snapped.
I’m still in the middle of this driveway, but I’m at least able to slowly get up. I’m making sure my foot is as flat as it can be on the ground and I’m moving slowly, cautiously. I’m thinking, “Once I get back up, I will just walk more carefully.”
I finally get to a normal standing position, and I’m glad that’s over. I take one tiny step, and whoop! I fall in the exact same way as before. Flat onto my back.
Only this time, I’m a little closer to the edge of the driveway. This time I’m able to grab a bigger chunk of foliage and I use it to just glide myself over to the edge of the driveway.
I right myself up, brush off the snow. Look around to see if anyone just saw that over what felt like the last 5 or so minutes as I was stuck lying like some stranded whale in the middle of this driveway in the heart of Idaho Falls suburbia.
Nope. No one.
Fortunately there was no damage done to me or my laptop, somehow. If there’s ever a reason to believe in miracles, that’s one of them.
Anyway, I’ve digressed again.
New Prescription
My point is, I liked to walk to work. And I did this without glasses – because I just never really wore them anymore.
Well, I can’t remember why, but there came a point where I decided maybe I should get my eyes checked. I think there was a reason, but the thing that stands out to me the most was that this place was running a special where you could get a free check up and two pairs of glasses for the price of one. So maybe I was just swayed by the advertisement.
Like I said, I really don’t recall.
But I ended up getting a revised prescription.
I remember the next time I went out on my walk to work, it was incredible. I could see basically all the way down the street. I could make out cars going by at the end of the main road.
The needles on the pine trees around me were like in HD.
Just the amount of things I could see and the detail was out of this world.
Before, I would say at best I could see three or four blocks ahead with no issues, but now it seemed like it was almost endless detail. It was like the only reason I couldn’t see further was the curvature of the earth…or buildings.
But my point here, is that in today’s episode of the Thinkering & Tinkering podcast, I’m going to be sharing three stories from my life that changed my perspective on things.
That’s why I’m calling today’s episode: Lenses.
This is the Thinkering & Tinkering Podcast. I’m Fickle Father. I’ll see you after this break…
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Applying Lenses to Life
[Music: Alberto, Secret Flagrant]
Welcome back. This is the Thinkering & Tinkering Podcast. I’m Fickle Father.
If you’ve ever been to the optometrist, you’ve experienced the device they use to help determine your prescription. They have you look through a contraption and you view a picture with different lenses. The optometrist asks, “Which is better, #1 or #2.” And you say, “#2 is a bit better.” Then they keep going. “#1 or #2?” “This time #1” and it keeps going until you find the prescription that’s just right for you.
Well, I’m going to share a few experiences that changed the way I see things. Instances where I had a lens 1 or lens 2 moment that helped me see things a little clearer or a little differently. And I’ll share them in three separate Acts…
ACT 1: The Lens of My Youth (aka What’s it take to be cool?)
[Music: Dodge City]
Act 1 begins in Junior High, which for me, like for many others, is probably best described as awkward. I was still discovering what it meant to go from being a little kid to a man, baby.
I mean, not a man-baby… a man, comma, baby…
Just like that last sentence, jr high was not the smoothest transition for me.
I was plump and pimply and had a fairly significant overbite. I had braces and a headgear. Thankfully I didn’t have to wear the headgear to school, but the outline of it stayed on my cheeks for at least a couple hours. And then I played the french horn. If you’ve ever played a brass instrument with braces, you probably know how this goes… I would press too hard with the mouth piece, so the inside of my lips would get torn up by my braces. I would have to literally peel my lips from my braces after band class. The outside of my lips didn’t fare much better. Since I was pushing too hard, I would end up with a red circle over my mouth in the shape of the french horn mouthpiece that would take a couple hours to fade.
My social interaction was also a work in progress. Here’s an example:
In sixth grade, I had a computer class – that I think was mostly typing. I sat by a girl named Laura. She would laugh at my jokes and I ended up developing a crush on her. Over the summer, I found this song “Tell Laura I love her” and I would listen to it on a loop. I think I had this daydream in the back of my mind that when I saw her in the next school year, I would serenade her with this song and sweep her off her feet.
What I did instead was not quite so smooth…
[music: Thieving Squirrels?]
When 7th grade started, I saw her down the hall at the end of the courtyard. I started heading over thinking when she saw me she would be like “Hey! It’s that fun, funny kid from computer class! So good to see you!” But I didn’t really know how to get her attention. With my buddies, what I would do is just go punch them in the arm and be like “Hey, dude what’s up?” So I figured I’d go with that. I came up to her, reached my fist back, and launched – pretty much as hard as I could. Yep, I punched her square in the arm.
She was like “Hey, ow! what did you do that for?!” and looked at me like I was some kind of lunatic – which was maybe true.
So yeah … that ended my chances with Laura.
I felt mostly like a dorky kid. And I just didn’t know how to transition from being a kid to a man. Looking around jr high, it seemed like maybe the guys who made that leap were the ones who were doing adult things – like smoking, using R-rated language, and doing other r-rated things.
When I was going into high school, I didn’t want it to be like Jr High, where I was just awkwardly going around punching women in the arm. I wanted to be cool or at least feel more grown up.
And I had this idea that I would just have to do whatever I have to do to make it happen. So I felt some trepidation when I started my freshman year, which for me started with band camp, where I joined the drum line.
[music: Marcha Del Toro Real]
(In Jr High I played French horn in the concert band and drums in the jazz band.)
Fortunately for me, on the drumline with me was a guy I knew from primary named Adam – we were in primary together for a time before some ward splits and we ended up going to different Jr Highs. But we reconnected during band camp and he kind of took me under his wing. Adam was really good with remembering movie lines, and one line he used for me was from Dumb and Dumber – he was going to “plug me into the social pipeline.”
Which he did.
When school started, he introduced me to all sorts of people. People who were like Adam – good people. And the more I observed these folks, the more it seemed to me that the “cool” people were the ones who were just nice and friendly people. I remember literally thinking this exact sentence: “Wait a minute? Is it possible that it’s cool to be nice?!”
I was also very relieved because, man, I did not want to smoke.
But I sometimes wonder what would have happened to me had I not bumped into Adam at band camp the summer before my freshman year. Had he not plugged me into the social pipeline that helped me see things from that perspective, where would I have gone from there?
Camera 1 was this perspective that I had to do “adult” or “R-rated” things to escape the shell of my youth. But Camera 2 was a new lens that showed me a different view. And as I compared those lenses, I said, “yeah, camera 2 is way better.”
ACT 2: A Secular Lens – or “As the World Seeth”
In Episode 3, I shared that when I was on my mission, I thought I was blessed to know the truth – or really I felt like I was blessed to know all the important truth in the world: the Eternal Truth. Well, I’ll share an experience from my mission that stuck with me in a strange way.
The Philosophy Professor
[Music: Gnome Dance]
My first area was in Burien, Washington. On my mission, unless we had a teaching appointment, we were required to go door knocking in the mornings. For whatever reason, we didn’t get very many appointments at all in that area so we did a lot of door knocking. And for most of the doors, people weren’t home. They would even tell you that. You’d knock and see the curtains move, then you’d hear, “We’re not home!”
Another thing that would happen is if you were walking down the street towards someone, they would start making a diagonal for the other side of the street. Sometimes if we felt like messing with people, we would zig zag along with them.
The point is: if people can see you coming, they’ll have time to get out of the way.
One time, we came around a corner where we were hidden behind some tall shrubbery. As we passed the shrubs, we saw a guy just exiting his car in his driveway. I’m guessing he would have been in his 50s.
Since he didn’t see us coming, he didn’t have a chance to bolt or sit in his car, so we pounced.
“Hello Sir, nice weather we’re having today!”
“Yes, it is.”
“Hey, we’re missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes incorrectly referred to as the M***mon church. Can we share an important message with you?”
“Well, I appreciate what you boys are out trying to do but I don’t have time for that.”
“That’s fine, we don’t have to take too much of your time. We really just have a brief message to share. It shouldn’t take too long. It’s a message of peace and joy.”
“Look. I’m a philosophy professor at [some university], you do know why what you’re selling gives you peace right?”
“Of course, it is a blessing from the Holy Ghost.”
“No, all creatures have anxiety over death. And so do humans. So of course a message that helps you resolve this anxiety is going to give you good feelings. It’s a natural biological response.”
And I don’t remember what I said to that. I know I said something that made me feel like I had a pretty good, holy-ghost-inspired response, and I know it had something to do with the Bible because I also recall feeling like I was a real scriptorian for using the bible.
But his comment stuck with me ever since….
The Planted Idea
When I saw the movie Inception, I thought of his experience. The premise of inception is that people called extractors can find a way into your dreams – or even a dream within a dream – and while they are in there, they can extract information from your subconscious – for example, a vault code. But this group, led by Leonardo DiCaprio, is doing something different – instead of extracting information, they are going to plant an idea in someone’s mind.
That’s what this philosophy professor did with me. He planted this idea or question in my mind: “How do you know if your good feeling is coming from the Holy Ghost or if it is just a natural biological response?” Up to that point, I had viewed eternal truth primarily through a spiritual lens – that my feelings are an adequate barometer of truth. But this professor “inceptioned” into my mind the secular view that these experiences just might possibly be my mind reacting to my environment. I thought, “How do I know which one it is?”
Both have their appeal.
Lens 1: The Spiritual
The view from lens 1, the spiritual, is nice. For example, I like the idea of being able to have a forever family – though I have many questions about the logistics of how that works and what it means exactly. Like, who’s family do I live with, mine or my wife’s?
I also like the idea of having God behind you helping you accomplish and live a life that has some great meaning.
But I also have concerns about being led by the holy ghost. In my own life, I wasn’t sure if it was actually working because, as I mentioned in previous episodes, the holy ghost, as I understood it, gave me “visions” of how things would be that didn’t work out the way I saw it and it led me to “know” and have a testimony of historical facts that weren’t actually true.
There are also plenty of examples where the holy ghost can lead you to do things that seem, on the surface, well…bad. For example, Joshua and his people were led to destroy entire cities, including every woman, child, and animal. The early saints engaged in some very sketchy polygamy practices. Abraham was literally willing to kill his own son, absent angel intervention. These acts, outside of religious affirmation, are … not ideal.
But then you also have the story like the River Jordan story – where Jesus tells that guy to dip in the river Jordan seven times to cure his leprosy. It feels like the point of that story is that – yeah, none of this has to make sense, so don’t try to make sense of it. In fact, if you find that something doesn’t make sense, that’s actually proof that it’s true.
Lens 2: The Secular
So, in some ways, I find the secular view of camera 2 attractive. Under lens 2, I can hold a moral standard that no matter what, I will not pursue polygamous relationships, I will not kill an entire village of women, children, and animals, and I will not be willing to offer any of my children as an actual human sacrifice.
I once heard a radio program where an atheist engaged in a debate on whether christians had the high ground on morality. The atheist gave this example: if you have an atheist and christian at an intersection, the atheist would know you aren’t supposed to run a red light, but the Christian would say, “I know you don’t run a red light unless God commands.” While I’m not sure I love the analogy, I do get the point. And I think it’s a fair point when viewed against some things people do in the name of religion.
In some ways, it’s a relief to not have this lingering idea that at any time, you could possibly get a commandment from God that tells you to do something that you might otherwise find reprehensible or you’ll get skewered by a flaming sword.
Another time, I attended a funeral for a person I didn’t really know all that well. The bishop gave a talk, as they do, about the plan of salvation. And he spent a good while talking about how non-believers have anguish over death because they do not understand that there is life after death and that we will be reunited with our loved ones.
When he said this, I thought, “I’m not sure how true that is.” I previously saw a friend’s facebook post, who happens to be an atheist, explaining that he finds peace based on his understanding that this life is it – because it helped him realize that he needs to cherish every moment of life since it’s the only time you get. And he felt tenderness about the idea that out of all chance and randomness out there, he gets to spend part of his finite life with his family.
And candidly, hearing that changed me. It helped me find more reason to feel that appreciation for each moment I get, too – especially with my wife – because you just never know how many of those moments you are going to get.
So back to my optometrist analogy…
[Music: Alberto, Secret Flagrant]
I feel like in some ways, I’m sitting in the chair saying “Let me see #1 again, hmm… now #2…ahhh, well,…number 1? …. I just can’t decide. Neither one is making me see an objectively clearer picture.
ACT 3: Choosing Your Lens
One Sunday, I was in Elders quorum and we were discussing this topic – how different people view the world. Our elders quorum had an ophthalmologist in it – an eye surgeon who also happens to be a guy who has a lot of practical wisdom.
Since we were talking about how people view the world, the teacher said, of course, “Hey, {so-and-so] is an eye doctor, what do you think about this?”
And he said basically this: no matter what you do, you’re going to see the world through some type of view point or lens, whether it is intentional or not. He explained that the lens you use is going to change your view of the world. For example, if you view yourself as a victim, you will see yourself as a victim. If you view the world through a lens of optimism or pessimism, you’ll see things and interact with the world from those views. If you view the world through the lens of a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Catholic, or mainstream Christendom, that’s how you’ll experience things. And of course, he went on to explain that the view of Mormonism is the best/true view of the world.
This was a bit of an “ah-ha!” moment for me. It helped me realize that, “Yes, your view of the world is informed – or obscured – by the lens you use to see it.” And there’s really no escaping it. No matter what you do, you will view the world through some sort of lens.
And we have all sorts of expressions for that:
We use “Rose colored glasses” or we “can’t see the forest for the trees” or we’ve “pulled the wool over our eyes” or “Hey, quit picking dandelions out there in right field and pay attention to the game!” Oh, wait, maybe that last one was just me.
The apostle Paul states it like this: he says, “For now we see through a glass, darkly” or another version states, “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror.”
Conclusion
I’ll try to wrap this up with a message to my kids and to my younger self…
I’m going to have to agree with the Apostle Paul on this.
We’re viewing life as if looking through a glass, darkly. It’s like we’re slowly solving a puzzle on what our life is going to be and what it’s going to mean. And It’s hard to know if you’re looking at things with the correct lens – or if there even is a “correct” lens.
The reality is that you’ll probably try out a lot of lenses in your life. Some you’ll find make your perspective better, and some you’ll discover make your life…not better. And your view is going to end up including pieces of good lenses and some of the bad ones too.
Maybe that’s bi-focals?
I will comment on a few of these lenses:
[Music: Late Night Blues]
Here’s some of my advice you should consider when you’re trying to decide how you want to view the world. You can take if for what it’s worth – and keep in mind this is a free podcast…
try to steer clear of the lens of victimhood. Its main victim will be you.
You’re going to run the risk of annoying people around you if you go too heavy on the lens of optimism, but it’s even more annoying to have too much pessimism.
The lens of cynicism is definitely funny to apply in group settings from time-to-time, but too much of it can get a little depressing to you and the group.
You also can’t go wrong with the lens of understanding, or, this is going to sound corny – the lens of love. Yeah…too corny.
You can’t really go wrong with the lens of the “golden rule” – you know, do unto others what you would have others do unto you.
But sometimes using these lenses requires a good night’s sleep.
The lens of faith is complicated. By nature, it deals with questions that can’t be verified without keeping those same lenses on. If you take them off, the things you think you know will become less clear. You’ll have to decide if you like that or not.
Last but not least, if your actual vision is blurred, you should probably get actual lenses …unless, of course, you live in Idaho, then that’s no big deal.
This has been the Thinkering & Tinkering Podcast. I have been Fickle Father. You have been you – and that’s a good thing. This has been episode 7: Lenses. Stay tuned for the next one.