Welcome to Fickle Father!
I’ve never found my one true hobby.
I’ve never really had one hobby that I’ve completely fallen in love with and can tell you all about. For example, I can’t talk to you all day about rock climbing or woodworking. I just don’t have my one “thing.” Instead, I’ve had a lot of things I’ve been interested in trying or doing. Even though I usually enjoy them, it just never seems to be something I can commit myself to doing long-term.
I used (and sometimes still do) to beat myself up about it. “Why can’t I just stick to anything?” my brain would think on its own, even though I never wanted it to do that.
I viewed this as a major character flaw.
The same goes for deciding what to do as a career. “Follow your passion” was the advice I would hear.
My problem was that I never really had that one passion that lit an enduring fire within me.
I’m not like Lady Galadriel who can spend centuries chasing after a bad guy.
I’m not like Galadriel. I don’t have a tempest in me. But maybe that’s a good thing — because as much as it pains me to say this, I really hated The Rings of Power — especially Galadriel’s character.
Maybe Galadriel’s character in that show is a prime example of how following your passion can make you an unlikeable idiot.
Reframing my mindset.
Many years ago I was complaining to my brother about how I can’t find anything that I stick to. For context, he’s really into guitars and has been ever since he was a kid. He’s also probably the smartest guy I know.
He explained that his view was that I haven’t quit on the most important things — my family and my career that supports them. This is true. I definitely feel like I’ve been a committed husband, father, and provider. It’s just that I haven’t found a hobby or passion that I’ve wanted to stick to.
But now I’m trying to reframe my approach to trying things as more of a skill than a malfunction. I’m like the Jack Reacher of hobbies: I’m in one hobby-town, take care of business, and then move on to the next hobby-town.
Now, candidly, I’ve never read the Jack Reacher books. I’ve only seen the movie. And only the first one. So I actually don’t know that much about Jack Reacher. So it’s possible that this is a bad analogy.
But I think you get the message.
And that’s kind of the point of this blog. I don’t have to be an expert to try things, just like I don’t have to be an expert on Jack Reacher to make a Jack Reacher analogy.
Continuing the Journey
I teach a Sunday school of 16 to 17-year-olds. At the start of the year, we did introductions (mostly because I was new). I asked them to share what they liked to do for fun. I noticed that a few of these students had the same reaction I do when someone asks me that question: “Oh, man, I don’t know what I should say.”
I was talking about this to my wife. I mentioned how one of my very first ideas for a blog I wanted to start was a blog about how fickle I am at trying hobbies. Instead, I started a website and podcast about starting a small business (which was very fun, but I ultimately dropped).
She encouraged me to start this blog.
So I did!
I’m going on an adventure! And my adventure is to simply just document the different hobbies that I’m trying out.
What to call it?
I went with Fickle Father for this website, but I’m not sure that has the right connotation.
I did brainstorm on other ideas. The phrases “Renaissance Man” or “Jack of all trades” probably overstate the level of skill I’m trying to convey. It’s literally just trying things at a very amateur level.
I even turned to the thesaurus or made-up words.
I thought of calling it “Eclectica.” As in my hobbies are eclectic. But that sounds like it’s something from the adult industry.
“Whack-a-mole” is too juvenile and impulsive.
I like “drifter” or “rover.”
In a conversation, it might sound like this:
“So, Jimmy, what do you do for fun?”
[Jimmy thinks to himself, “Oh, shoot, I don’t really have just one hobby that I like. I can’t really think of what to say that accurately conveys what I like to do. I like to do a lot of different things.” He’s sweating a little until he realizes the answer].
“Well, sir. I’m a drifter…like Jack Reacher.”
[Jimmy then pats himself on the back thinking that this was a really great analogy. But the reality is that it may not be.]
If you want to follow along, whether you’re fickle or a hobby drifter, or even if you’ve found that tempest within you, feel free to follow along.
Until next time!
